Waiting for “The One”
It’s hard to understand what “The One” even means. Someone that gets you? Someone you have no doubts about? I guess so. Whatever it is, you do know when you’ve met someone who is NOT “The One”. You may love and care for he/she as a person but you know he/she is not the one who will fulfill you for a long amount of time. What’s tough about this, at least for me, is that I fall in love with who people are very easily. Not the crazy kind of love, but the kind where I truly respect the person and enjoy their company. This kind of love will often cause me to continue a relationship. I know I’m not gonna fall hard but they’re cool so, why not? It’s taken me a long time to realize that just because I won’t fall hard, doesn’t mean he won’t. It’s taken me a while to realize that although I am enjoying just messing around, that kind of relationship doesn’t last long. And what’s the point of being in a relationship that you know will end soon?
Last night a guy I had been seeing for a few weeks asked me to meet him at a local bar saying that he needed to “talk with me about something”. When I read this at work I knew it wasn’t good. At first I was really nervous because I didn’t know why this was coming about. I didn’t think we had been moving very fast at all. And then I tried thinking of positive things it could be referring to…but deep down I knew that was not going to be the case. I just knew. Everyone knows the words “we need to talk” are never going to go somewhere “positive”. But after our conversation I realized that the result was actually more positive than I had anticipated.
As soon as we got to the bar I noticed he had ordered me a beer. I sat down, initiated some small talk, and then asked what was up. I couldn’t wait much longer. He said he wanted to end things (surprise). He told me that he didn’t feel that “connection” with me and didn’t want to carry on seeing each other when he knew that emotionally it wasn’t going to progress for him. He said he really enjoyed my company and hoped that we could still be friends. I smiled when he told me this, which probably freaked him out a bit. I smiled because I completely understood where he was coming from and why he was doing this. I wasn’t “The One” for him. And I knew, from the moment I met him, that he wasn’t “The One” for me either but I was willing to put the aside for the joy of just having someone to hang out with/talk with/etc.
We are better as just friends, that’s the truth. He caught us in the beginning of what could have ended up uglier if we dragged it on too long and I respect that. And for the next hour we talked about work, our recent travels, books, school, etc. while laughing over another beer. It was the most civil and enjoyable break-up I have ever experienced.
I know that I’m going to see him again soon. He asked if it would be alright if he still visited me at the coffee shop to attempt the cross-word puzzle’s with me. I said of course because I really do enjoy his company and would hate to lose a friendship over this. That’s my biggest pet-peeve about breaking up with people; most of the time you end up losing a good friend.
So now I’m back to square one, and it’s for the best. He is right; why waste time emotionally with someone you know isn’t going to be in the picture for a long time? I guess I’ll keep looking for my “one” wherever he may be.